How to Make Goals That Stick (Even When Life Gets Crazy)

Well, here we are. Another year gone by way too fast, and we find ourselves staring down the barrel of a new one.  Every year, I tell myself this will be THE year. I’ve tried vision boards, resolutions, manifestation hacks—you name it. Some ideas stick, most don’t and by May, I’ve usually forgotten what those goals even were. Sound familiar?

The world is dark and full of terrors, it’s tough to keep up with rigid plans when everything’s on fire.🔥

This year, I’m ditching the pressure for perfection and embracing a new approach: YEARLY THEMES. Something that allows me to embrace simplicity and play. Because let’s face it—trying to "win" at life is exhausting when life clearly has a rigged deck.

Why New Year's Resolutions Kinda Suck!

First of all, putting an entire year’s worth of desires, goals and rules into a rigid plan requiring unending discipline is a LOT of pressure. It’s overwhelming and completely unrealistic. I find myself spiralling at the thought of planning my WHOLE year, 365 days ahead of everything?

Have you been on this planet lately? Things are going sideways and upside-down every two weeks. I mean, the aliens are here, ffs!👽

Also, it’s winter!❄️ (In the Northern Hemisphere.)

The darkest, coldest and arguably the worst part of the year. Winter is a time for rest, recovery, and taking inventory. It is NOT the season of rebirth, renewal, and inspiration we’re sold on for New Year’s resolutions.

The energy is all wrong!

Secondly and thirdly, resolutions are rooted in hyper-productivity and consumption. Setting rigid rules for changing your life instantly is a recipe for burnout and disaster. Change takes time—whether it’s in the outside world or your internal world.

Transforming your life comes down to changing your nervous system and that doesn’t happen overnight.

Welcome to My Special Interest: The Nervous System⚡️

Let’s talk about the nervous system for a minute! Your nervous system is the electrical wiring that sends information between your brain and body. It makes your entire body and all its systems run and work in sync. It’s responsible for regulating movement, coordination, memory, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and more.

Any change or adjustment you want to make in your life or body must go through the nervous system first.

For example, when you’re learning a new skill—say Freestyle Staff Spinning (because obviously)—your nervous system is entirely responsible for your ability to pick up the skills and techniques. From the moment you first pick up the staff, to your first figure eight, to mastering backhand flips, your nervous system works diligently to create new neuromuscular pathways from brain to body. This process of building neural pathways and connections takes weeks, months, or even years, which is why you get better over time as you continue to practice.

This system applies to absolutely everything we do in life: health, fitness, creativity, work, money, love—all of it!

Change Doesn’t Happen Overnight🌀

So why, oh why, do we start each New Year with the grand idea that this is the year we’ll instantly change everything about ourselves? That we’ll just flip a switch on January 1 and suddenly be hitting the gym for two hours daily, drinking 45 litres of water, and never eating sugar again?

What the actual fuck?!

Under these circumstances, it’s no wonder New Year’s resolutions fail within the first two months. We’re setting ourselves up for failure.

PLUS, many of us—myself included, are neurodivergent. We don’t operate within “normal” systems, even under ideal circumstances.

(Yes, I acknowledge that some people stick to and achieve their New Year’s resolutions. It’s possible, but I believe that has more to do with having a strong emotional connection to their goals. We’ll discuss this later.)

What Can We Do Instead?

For those of us who are stressed out, burned out, chronically anxious, clinically depressed and/or neurodivergent, how do we set goals and dream of a better, more regulated life?

Here’s my actual, no-nonsense guide to New Year’s goal-setting.

1. Take Inventory🧐

Winter’s energy (December, January, February) is for rest, recovery, and review. Take time to reflect on how your year went:

• What went well?
• What fell apart spectacularly?
• What were you hoping for?
• How do you want to feel this coming year?

Suggestion: Use this reflection as a regulating tool. Be gentle with yourself. No need to beat yourself up over what did or didn’t happen. Try to approach this review from a non-judgmental, objective perspective. Incorporate deep breathing. Sit with your thoughts and emotions, acknowledge them and gently let them go.

Try reflecting during meditation, on a walk, or in a journal. The goal is to observe, not judge or attach a story. We’re just gathering data.📊

2. Set a Yearly Theme⭐️

Themes have saved me from the “resolutions trap.” A theme is an overarching idea, feeling, or energy that encompasses your year without being too specific. It acts as an anchor when you feel out of sync, get disregulated, burnout or hyper fixate on something else. A strong theme can gently guide you back on track.

Themes focus on how you want to feel or what you want to explore, rather than demanding specific goals by specific deadlines.

Examples:

• Instead of “I want to get shredded this year. I’ll go to the gym five times a week,” ➡️  Theme: “Movement.”
• Instead of “I want to be more calm. I’ll meditate for 20 minutes every morning,” ➡️ Theme: “Presence.”
• Instead of “I want to master a new skill. I’ll practice staff spinning every day,” try ➡️ Theme: “Curiosity.”

Themes are flexible, forgiving, and adaptable—perfect for the neurodivergent rollercoaster of life.🎢

A Theme in Practice:

Say your dream for 2025 is to get into the BEST SHAPE OF YOUR LIFE? 
A great theme for you would be: MOVEMENT!

With the theme of movement, your task through out the year is to include more MOVEMENT into your life.  Referring back to the Nervous System, any and all small actions/changes will help us reach our intended destination.  It’s about little moments of MOVEMENT you can add to your day, progressively, without the overload.  

Movement can mean a lot of things!

Yes, you could go to the gym 5 days per week, that is ONE way to get fitter.  

(Is that really sustainable tho???  Trust me, I've been a professional athlete for 30 years, I've trained 5-7 days per week consistently through out my life.  The gym, while a wonderful tool for fitness, is NOT the 'peak' of improving your physical body.  It's actually kinda boring...and full of gym bros...and doesn't inspire the full spectrum of human movement.  Personally, I go to the gym MAX 2 days per week now.  And I'm the fittest I've ever been.)

You could also go to a dance class, a yoga class, practice with your staff, stretch, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park farther away at the grocery store, go for a walk, play with your pets/kids etc.  

The sky's the limit! The point is to simply MOVE YOUR BODY!  That will make you a fitter, healthier, happier human!💜

The intention of the Yearly Theme is to allow you more space to be exactly where you're at with out adding to much pressure or rigidity to your goals. 

3. Break Your Theme into Bite-Sized Pieces🧩

Ok, now that you have your theme, let's break it down into tiny little bite sized pieces that will actually make the entire process possible for your nervous system.  

🚨Remember, the nervous system works slowly in incremental changes.  Little actions performed consistently over time will create big change.

Review these steps regularly throughout the year. (Every month, or every quarter.)

Example Theme: Movement

Big goal: Get fitter.

Current status: Beginner mover. Not much experience with moving or training. Feeling out of shape.

Tiny Actions:

• Go for short walks a few times per week.
• Park farther away at the grocery store.
• Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
• Leave a staff accessible to practice briefly when inspired.
• Watch movement tutorials or performances for inspiration.
• Clear a space at home for movement or stretching.
• Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning.

Need a Little Structure? Try This:

Old Resolution: “I’m going to work out three times a week, eat zero sugar all year, and get shredded.”

The Fix: Start small. Give yourself a short timeframe and review your goals often. Don’t overload yourself. Allow your nervous system time to adapt to new habits.

January:

• Practice ONE Movement Based Activity per week. (Go to the gym, practice with your staff once a week, take a class etc.)

End of January Review:

• How did once a week at the gym feel? Too much? Not enough?

No judgment—just be realistic. Build incrementally from there.

February: 

• 2 days per week - Movement Based Activity
• Park a bit farther away at grocery (when you remember)

March:

• 2 days per week - Movement Based Activity 
• Take the stairs in my building on the way down to the parking garage as often as possible
• Drink a glass of water every morning.  

Hydration Hot Tip💧

Let’s be real. I’ve always struggled with drinking enough water. (Anyone else?) I’ve tried every trick in the book—cute water bottles, apps, setting reminders. My most successful hack so far? Leaving a full water bottle on the counter before bed. It’s there staring at me in the morning, daring me to start my day hydrated. Is it perfect? Nope. But it’s something—and that’s the magic of small, realistic habits tied to a bigger theme like "Wellness."

4. Celebrate Your Wins 🎉

Small wins = dopamine = motivation.🏆

And neurodivergent brains love dopamine.🧠

Tiny wins deserve tiny celebrations. 

Did you spend five minutes on your theme today?! Reward yourself with a sticker, a dance party, or just a nap with your cats (because, let’s be honest, that’s the real reward). Positive reinforcement is key. We need it.

NEED MORE DOPAMINE!!!

In Conclusion

Big changes don’t happen overnight. Start small, adapt gradually, and let your nervous system guide the way. Themes and tiny actions can help you embrace the journey without overwhelming yourself.

Remember: Life is a rollercoaster, and if you’re anything like me, you’re already motion-sick. Let’s ditch “perfect” goals and embrace the ride!

Your yearly theme is guide, not a rule book.  It’s simply a tool to help you succeed and thrive on your own terms.  It’s there to inspire you, not to trap you in a shame spiral. If you’re full of energy one week and need to hibernate the next, that’s totally fine. If your theme evolves as the year goes on (because life is chaos), that’s fine, too. You’re the boss of your journey.

If you miss a few days (or weeks, or months) of working on your theme? Whatever. Just get back at it when you’re ready. Progress is progress, no matter how small. Even if it’s just getting out of bed some days, you’re doing great.

Let’s throw out the pressure of perfection and instead embrace the joy of exploration. Pick a theme that excites you, take tiny steps toward it, and celebrate each little win along the way. You’ve got this.

Your Turn: Share Your Themes

What theme will guide your year? Is it Movement, Creativity, Connection, or something uniquely yours? I’d love to hear about it! Share your theme in the comments, or download this free PDF to help you map out your goals in a way that feels achievable, inspiring, and fun.

Oh, and don’t forget to share your theme with me! I’m always looking for inspiration and would love to know what you’re focusing on this year. Use #NDYearlyTheme and let’s keep each other going.

Here's to a year of play, possibility, and progress—even if we’re just making progress on surviving the inevitable chaos of it all.